Archive for the friendship Category

I’ll Catch You Later

Posted in adventures, dreams, friendship, interests, life, love, me time, thoughts on June 20, 2008 by anairam

I made a new friend today. Actually, we’ve been constantly messaging each other on a Facebook-based application, Flirtable, but it’s more of a friendly conversation, or you can say we’re friendly flirts. Haha. Today he finally added me to be his friend on Facebook, we chatted there (and I never realized that the little chat button there was useful) and he added me @ YM. In turn, I looked him up on Friendster and added him as a friend, and he requested to be my Multiply contact. Haha. Wonders of networking these days.

It was more of in the getting-to-know stage. Endless exchange of his and hellos and some information you can safely disclose. Up until the point that he made some significant step, he read my Multiply blog post, Love Hurts?! (which I originally posted here). It was then that there had been a change of mood, he complimented me with how I was able to magnificently write the post, with almost no grammatical error, in great content delivery. It felt terribly good. It was rather inspiring. A great morale/confidence booster. To be complimented by a stranger, and from which, by only with chatting as the means, I felt it was sincere.

It was then that I decided to return the favor and read his blog. Another change of mood, I terribly felt sad with his posts. I could have hugged him to comfort him if the chat was in person. He was so sad, really sad. It was riveting as he writes his sentences with every word coming from the heart. Turns out he’s broken hearted, and the passion just runs through his posts. Damn, why is it that I’m a magnet of broken-hearted guys. No wonder I’m single right now. I just hope that God wouldn’t allow that I’d be the “comforter of the afflicted”, or panakip-butas, that’s how I define it.

Going back. Tonight, I met a very inspiring person. The one who made me feel terribly flattered and happy one minute and sympathetic and lonely the other. I called him the weird computer genius as he refers to me as super-duper-uber therapeutic genius (YM message status). The ‘schizophrenic’ and the ‘hopeless romantic’. It ended when I called it a night and it ended there. ” I’ll catch you later”

To the weird computer genius who inspired me this whole night. this post is for you:

I am hopeless romantic after all that’s why expect this words from me… Liver Cirrhosis is deadly, i’ll remind you next time constantly to bring this matter to your company doctor during your annual medical check-up (haha). Kidding aside, I do hope that still somewhere out there in your lonely aching heart that you’ll find inspiration to bring about the sleeping poet in you-the one who puts passion into his writing and who is rather unaware of the depth it brings to it’s sympathetic readers. I know your a beautiful person, imperfect, schizophrenic, inspiring, interesting. Keep your hopes up. Until we meet again. Ciao. – your equally imperferct, schizophrenic, inspiring, beautiful person….

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Happy Valentines Day, Anairam

Posted in friendship, love, me time, thoughts on February 10, 2008 by anairam

A year ago, when the blogging world was still unknown to me, I remembered writing in my diary that by 2007, I won’t be celebrating Christmas and Valentines day alone.

A month ago, I truly believed in my heart that before I step at age 22 (which is 6 days away from now), that that dream would come true, I will be with someone this Valentines day.

After 2 broken chances from fate, I was still hoping for a 3rd chance at a potential love life. Last week I was hoping to still make it on deadline. Valentines day.

But from the looks of today, I think I’ll just have to say better luck next year.

Why is Valentines Day so special anyway? For “taken” people, they may say it’s the season/day of the year to best celebrate their love for one another. But for us “single since birth” ladies, its a painful reminder that you’ve been alone for the past 21 years of your life.. I wonder if “single since birth” gentlemen think so too.. hehe

At least I have 3 proposal dates for Valentines. From my girlfriends. Haha. At first I thought that people may think that either were lesbians or just pathetic little girls who can’t get a man to date them on Valentines day. But then again when you put it this way, Valentines is not just a day for the lovers. Love I believe does make the world go round, its just that it has been stereotypical to pertain to partner/romantic love. And not having a partner doesn’t make your world stop anyways. You just have to resort to other forms of love there is: family love, love for friends and love for self. I’m sure I’ll still have the time of my life knowing that this Valentines, I won’t be alone. I love my friends, I love my family and I love myself. And I bet my life that they love me too. What more can I ask for di ba?

The Tagaytay Experience (to sum it all up)

Posted in adventures, friendship, interests, relationships, thoughts on November 12, 2007 by anairam

To sum it all up, it was one unique, enjoyable, fun experience for me.

(1) It’s because it’s the first time I’m going out of town with friends (without a chaperone, as the first time I went out of town, I was with a maid).

(2) I’m with friend’s whom I have only known for a month. One is a classmate but we never really were that super friends in college so know is also a bonding moment with her. My experience with new friends was fun. They brought out the adventurous side of me. It’s fun that were all game for the experience. Nobody did backed-out (or nagreklamo man lang).

(3) I felt this is one of the things I was looking for before. The kind of quality time I needed off for myself.

(4) A bonding experience of newly found friends who might have shared the same trips as I do. At least it solidified a bit the friendship that was founded.

(5) It helped my interpersonal skills grew a bit as I’ve learned how to deal with new people in a friendly happy manner. And it’s the thought of “pakikisama”.

(6) I have a sure excuse not to go to meet my old barkada at Shangrila Mall, as I thought to myself I need to lose some weight first before showing my face to them. AHAHA.

(7) Even though with the shocking “Out” revelation, I still got to be with my Sir Crush and get to sit beside him in the restaurant. Sayang talaga sya. wahhhh.

(8) I get to enjoy. The genuine one. ^_^. Weehee

Hopefully, more trips to come. No more KJ’s. And hopefully next time we get to drink and be merry. wahaha.

The Tagaytay Experience (Part 3. Much Trespassing)

Posted in adventures, friendship, interests, thoughts on November 12, 2007 by anairam

After the heart-breaking revelations, and after being thrown out at the Starbucks (haha, we only left till Manong guard told us they can’t extend any longer and really-really need to close), we decided not to go home just yet and watch for the sunrise. But to tell you, it is much a task to wait for it, to find a spot where to watch it and to endure not sleeping till the adventure is all over. After being closed-down by Starbucks (and all the other establishments there) we were of nowhere to go. We hanged out for about 30 minutes across the street, under the covered area of a closed restaurant, away from the showering mist. Then we all decided to journey to the Picnic grove, even with the knowledge that they don’t open till it’s 7 am, and what? it’s just only 4 am.

And the adventure began.

From the point were we hanged out, we journeyed about a kilometer, yes by foot to the “rotonda” were some means of transportation lurk. Imagine 4 am, a walking gang, travelling by foot. But then we actually didn’t feel tired from the walk. It might have been because we never actually realized the extent of what we walked because were busy of the thought of getting there and just chatting around with one another.

Reaching the “rotonda”, we traveled by tricycle to the picnic grove, only to find no luck and the “manong guard” were not kind enough to let us in. Having no lighted establishments around, we thought of staying on a newly built house, which has a bit of cover enough to shade us from the mild rainy shower, is lighted, with seemingly nobody inside, and decided to hang out there till the sun starts to set. In short e tumambay kami sa isang bagong gawang bahay na may ilaw sa labas, pero di pa tapos yung bahay, may ilang parts pa na ginagawa pero may pwedeng upuan na me bubong para masilungan naming 8. This is quite considered trespassing (1)
I was a bit disappointed voting to stay there instead of going back to Manila early on, and probably might find an open establishment na pwedeng tambayan that early in the morning. By 5 am, my friend and I decided to find a spot to wait for the sunrise, and my Sir Crush and another staff decided to join us. Not far away from the house, we noticed a hotel that might have had a nice view inside. And the girl staff with us saw someone wearing red walking inside the place. So we all decided to go in too. I consider it trespassing (2). We went in the hotel, and found the reception area lighted but empty, but still decided to proceed. The placed looked deserted to us, if not for the lighted reception we would consider the place empty and pretty haunted. Then, we reached the back area were the fence borders the grassy area, and surprise! overlooking Taal. Weehee.

Then I saw my Sir Crush alighting the stairs at the back of the reception area were he found somebody sleeping in the bed there (i think this is trespassing (3)). Even with the thought of getting caught, we still stayed there behind the fence waiting for the sunrise. We thought that if we were to be caught, our alibi would be that we were searching for somebody there to receive us and “kunyari” we are to inquire the hotel rates. We stayed there for 30 minutes, without anybody waking up on us, gazed with amazement seeing how the sky changed from indigo to yellow orange to light blue as the sun was starting to shine. However, we were not able to see the sight of a circle sun just the transition of sky color from night to dawn. And amazingly we saw Taal from silhouette to shadow to solid view with the Taal Lake surrounding it. Trespassing was well worth it, and we weren’t caught. Hehe.

After that we decided to go back to the others and asked them if they want to go home, as it is still an hour to go before Picnic Grove opens, and it was starting to really rain. When we reached the house, the sky was already light and suddenly we noticed the house’s light going off, and someone from the inside asking us if we were waiting for anybody. We said no and the guy (probably the caretaker) was nice enough to let us in and use the bathroom. And I asked him myself. Wahaha. (the last Trespassing (4))…

Finally, were off to the next bus home…

TO BE CONTINUED…

The Tagaytay Experience (Part 2. Revelation)

Posted in adventures, friendship, life, relationships, thoughts on November 12, 2007 by anairam

After the wonderful, bountiful, super-satiating meal, we went off to transfer to the nearby Starbucks, which is ~10 meters away from our first stop. Yes, dumayo ng Tagaytay para lamang mag-Starbucks. Ehe. Syempre we ordered coffee, sa akin e hot Latte, my ever favorite since I started hanging out at Starbucks last May. And yes, I am to collect stickers for the prize of 2008 Starbucks planner, na kung sana ang promo na ito started last May, naka-3 planner na siguro ako sa dalas ng tambay ko sa Starbucks. Going back, we were in Starbucks since 12 midnight and stayed there till 3:30 am. But only when it was 2:30 that the fire is on for our chika minute/ revelation proper.

It all started when one girl staff asked us volunteers if we knew the status of one of the guy staffs there. My friend and I were like, “huh? status? relationship status? social status? what?”. Looking back for a moment, this guy staff they’re talking about was one of the 2 guy staffs there. What we knew of him for the last weeks that were there was that he was quite open. He would burst out his depressing and happy stories about his relationship status to you even though were not that super close just yet. He was also beginning to be touchy-feely just recently, making “akbay” etc. All I ever thought of that was it was a friendly “akbay”. And it turned out to be true. As it is because, he turned out to be gay. Wahh. And all along the relationship he was referring to was about his boyfriend. And to think he doesn’t look like one. And it doesn’t show in his actions. Sayang, may itsura pa naman. Isa na namang kawalan sa mag kababaihan. Hay. It’s just that I can’t imagine him in the kind of relationship that he is in. I mean, nothing against gay people, just that this is the first time I ever came close to one who doesn’t look like one but is in some serious homosexual relationship of some sort. Hay, sayang talaga. Haha.

Then here comes Sir Crush. Yes he crushed my heart as I also confirmed that night that he was gay too. And with that revelation night of the other staff, he went out too. Formally. To us. And we both acted that we knew all along. That were just shy to confirm it. Well there were hints. In the manner he talks. etc. But he’s just so cute. And so I refused to believe. But he is. Wahh. And he turned out to be much more “malandi” than me. He even told me he would like to make out with Prince William and be with Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise even just for one night (he answered this when we were talking about the topic “Your 3 wishes” and “What would you do if it were the 24 days of your life”). Nyah. My friend, who also finds him cute, were making some signals to me of a broken heart of some sort as she knew my heart was shattered after confirming it. Hay. Life. Here’s another thing. We have this lesbian-looking patient, who is about their age (he was about 25 i think), who turns out to be writing love letters to my dear Sir Crush-who-turned-out-to-be-gay. Complicated much? Yeah.

Another sayang for the kababaihans. Such a waste. Kakompetensya ko na nga ang girls, pati boys, pati lesbian looking. Wahaha.

TO BE CONTINUED…

The Tagaytay Experience

Posted in adventures, friendship, life, thoughts on November 12, 2007 by anairam

Last Saturday, I went out of town with the PT’s from NKTI. And I tell you it was one hell of an experience. Haha. For me at least. Let me tell you how it all began. It all started as big fab plan, with all the staffs, volunteers and interns all together. One staff, who is my crush, is the one who planned it all. I think about a week ago, he started calling up some hotels in Tagaytay, some phone numbers were posted in the lounges’ bulletin board. But then yesterday morning, I thought my first out-of-town experience with friends was never going to happen just yet. It was because the interns didn’t know that the plan will push through and didn’t bring any extra clothes with them, but at least one of them did. One intern, the only guy intern was absent, and obviously wasn’t able to make it as he was sick. The only guy volunteer has a half day schedule and wasn’t sure if he’s going to make it back in time. One staff, who is off for the day, is not sure if he’s going to come. The staffs with us almost decided not to push through today, till my classmate suggested someplace in Tagaytay were we can just hang out till as early as 4 am the next day. Then with that idea, everybody decided to push through, all in all, 4 staffs, 1 hubby of the staff, 2 volunteers and 1 intern.

This is my third trip to Tagaytay, I think, but this was the first time I commuted all the way there. We left NKTI at around 6:45, at the terminal at 8 pm, and reached Tagaytay at around 10 pm. We stopped by the area with lots of establishments for a variety of choices instead of going to the suggested place we were planning earlier on. We decided to eat at some prestigious restaurant, with prestigious amount money needed to pay for the food. In short, it is very costly. Hehe. But the food is worth it, we ordered Original Bulalo, Pork Sisig, a tray of a variety of grilled stuff and of course, rice. And the beverage? House water. Hehe. The meal was indeed stuffing. We all ended up doing breathing exercises just to pace ourselves. Others went for a walk at the place. We didn’t finish all the food though realizing we ordered a bit too much. The good-for-4 Bulalo turned out to be good-for-8 na for us. Hehe. We even joked about the family dining in the table across us who we thought underestimated the food they ordered like us, and whispered good luck to them that they may finish everything they order for. Haha. After the dining experience, we explored around the area. It is overlooking the Taal Lake and Volcano; if only it was day time we will be able to see the thing right in front of us. Picture taking, laugh trips… etc.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Count your Blessings

Posted in friendship, life, me time, thoughts on August 18, 2007 by anairam

Hours before I wrote this post, I had a totally different perspective. Thoughts of why’s, which to no avail just puts my confidence on it’s lowdown. That sadly, why do I have to undergo decisions which puts me in a critical position. Decisions such us withdrawing from my circle of friends. Withdrawing from everyone. I pushed myself away. I did that to myself. Because of too much pressure. I suffered from a great deal of inferiority complex. I keep comparing and I suffered because of it.

That maybe I’m just not too intelligent. Not intelligent enough to answer some basic profession-related questions. Not intelligent enough to be in the list of top-notchers. Not even enough to attain an exam average comparable to those of my classmates, who are on the verge of making it to the top 10. I’m tired of being average. Trying to do something about it but my bests would always end up not being good enough.

I’m fat. Maybe 50 lbs overweight. I maybe obese. I wanted to wear lots of things that reveal something. I’ve been overweight since grade 6. I never got the chance of expressing myself very much on the outside. For the last time in college, I wanted to wear my spaghetti strap dress as it is. But my mom didn’t allow me to. She was anxious of others seeing by big flabby arms. I wasn’t. She was. I ended up wearing a bolero.

I was one of the people who was on the list of being chosen to play the role of the leading lady in a certain play we are making way back high school. I was also on the verge of being chosen as the participant of our class for Ms. United Nations. But I didn’t get those parts. Because of the weight that is. Sadly no matter how much I tell myself that it’s what inside that count most, in reality and for most people, Outside counts more.

I finally was given the chance to represent our class in a singing contest. I didn’t win. I never received any good feedback. Even from my folks. Even from my friends. I tried to audition in the annually held singing contest in high school. I didn’t even made it to top 50.

I experienced first courtship at 2nd year high school, and blew the chance. I had had been escorted to the gradball, and the guy blew the night away (in a negative way). I experienced several instances of unrequited love, and had blown a remarkable super friendship because of it. I lost a bestfriend and a love along the way. Since then nobody even noticed me. Some few, about one or two stayed for like a week and now is nowhere to be seen. Again I blew it. A chance for lovelife and a good friendship.
I finally got a circle of friends to call my own. But it ended up with me feeling that I can’t keep up with them. I graduated feeling alone. They never asked why, they never asked me back, they just let me. Be by myself, be alone. Without any confidant, without anybody to turn to but only myself and this blog and to some people who dared to notice it.

But then now, it’s just a matter of counting blessings when you’re feeling blue. Maybe I’m just a little to afraid of failures and so fail to perfectly move on. But then now, thinking about the past experiences made me think- well it could be worse.

I was able to make it to one of the top school of the Philippines. Others were proud and contented of being able to graduate in a two-year courses, some vocational courses. And they were happy. I made it to a quota course. Upper 20 percent. That is something.

Some people in Africa are very much malnourished. Some are very much obese, they weren’t may be even able to tie their shoelaces. But I can. I can dance with feelings, I can sing with feelings. Some are not even fortunate enough to be given a voice, or even a chance to be chosen in such events.

Some people maybe weren’t even courted by age 30, or 40. Others never had the chance to socialize and be around people because they are hindered by a certain condition or maybe suffering from severe cases. But I am healthy.

Fortunate to have an average, not so perfect, but otherwise healthy life. Fortunate to at least have some people around. May not be the bests, may not always be there to see my trials and happiness, ups and downs. But when I know I can’t do things alone, I know someone will be there. If only I asked for help. No man is an island. It never is a sign of failure to ask for help, it just shows that you are not perfect, and you are human.

Be thankful for what you have, and for what you are. And everytime you are feeling bad and not enough, count your blessings. It never fails.