Archive for September, 2008

Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me

Posted in dreams, interests, life, love, me time, relationships, thoughts on September 28, 2008 by anairam

Meredith Grey: Okay, here it is, your choice… it’s simple, her or me, and I’m sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.

Here’s my case: It’s someone I really like at the moment, who is torn between 2 hospitals (both of which offers working opportunities & many good things: s..c & n…). I’m in n… His bestfriend (a girl) is in s… We’ve grown terribly close for the past month that he stayed for volunteer work at my hospital; he’s been around in s… for more than 5 months on-off, with no assurance of being hired. But currently, both opened a new job opportunity for him. And it’s up to him which one to go for and which one to sacrifice.

I know i’m not in the position to dictate to him where to go, I didn’t even bother to offer him to stay for good. Though sometimes i drop certain statements like “hindi ba ko sapat na dahilan para bumalik ka dito o bumisita paminsan-minsan?” I never convinced him to stay but I think I got the message across. Please stay, just stay here with me…

Not accepting the n… job would mean I wouldn’t get the chance to be with him (or I wouldn’t know if the feeling could be mutual), though sometimes I was thinking that it’s better without him around for that way the feeling won’t grow again, history won’t repeat itself.

In 2 days time, answers will unfold. Then we will know what destiny has in store for me..

Please stay, choose (n…) me, i know eventually you’ll learn to love me…

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Why

Posted in interests, love, music, video on September 26, 2008 by anairam

*another song of the moment*

“Why”

Avril Lavigne

Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn’t you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don’t care at all

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you’re far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It’s not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It’s not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

Hey, listen to what we’re not saying
Let’s play, a different game than what we’re playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart

Do you expect me to believe I’m gonna let us fall apart?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even when you’re far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It’s not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It’s not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you’re far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It’s not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It’s not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me

It’s not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It’s not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

I’ll Keep This in Mind

Posted in love, thoughts on September 26, 2008 by anairam

…”Hanggang walang sinasabi ang guy, ‘wag mag-aassume”…

Malay mo nga naman caring lang sya at ma-sweet sa lahat ng friends nyang girl, so don’t take it as something special unless he specifically states that you are…

Pero what if.. pano kung…

Hai wala nang pano. Period!

On a Monday Night

Posted in Uncategorized on September 15, 2008 by anairam

1. You’re trapped in a room for 3 days with your ex, what do you do?
–  Umm. We’ll catch up? Hehe. And definitely device a way to get out.

2. You’re stuck in an elevator with the person you’ve fallen the hardest for, what happens?
–  Ummm. I’ll guess we’ll bond and i’ll be spilling the beans and tell him my feelings.. who knows. hehe

3. The celebrity you love the most offers to marry you, as long as you don’t talk to any of your current friends or family members anymore. Do you marry them?
– Duh. No thanks.

4. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
– It depends on whether the feeling is mutual or not. <– Same here.

5. If you ever want to live to see another day, you’re forced to snort cocaine. Do you do it?
– If it’s a matter of life and death, say if it’s the only cure… I guess I’ll go for it.

6. If you woke up in one of the Saw movies, do you think you could survive?
– That movie is so damn sick. No. I’d probably not open my eyes anyway, just thinking about it is torture enough.

7. When is the last time you were in a photo booth taking pictures with friends?
– 4th year college

8. Who’s the last person of the opposite sex you had a sleepover with?
– At a college friend’s house, night of the Christmas lantern parade ’07

9. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided seeing them?
– Yepyep

10. Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can’t even stand it?
– Yeah. Hehe

11. On average, what do you think you cry about the most?
– The Love aspect of my life

12. Do you think your best friends love you?
– Of course

13. Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot?
– Sadly nope, just for fun.

14. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
– Nope, but i’ll try to convince him to quit

15. Do you think you have made a difference in anyone’s life?
– I hope so.

16. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
– Navi

17. Are you going anywhere next summer?
–  hopefully Thailand. <– same here. haha

18. Are you waiting for anyone’s call right now?
– Nono

21. Do you secretly like someone?
– Not again. For the nth time

22. Do you announce when you have to pee?
– At times, when i need company. hehe

23. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
– Can’t remember. Long time ago.

24. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
– Yes. I think. hehe

25. How is life going for you right now?
– A bit stable. Still incomplete.

26. Do you trust people easily?
– At times

27. Do you give out second chances easily?
– Maybe

28. Do you smile a lot?
– Uhuh )

29. One thing you’re looking forward to?
– November

30. How do you feel about change?
– Fine. But let’s do it gradually…

31. Have you ever cried from being so mad?
– Yep.

32. Last time you read a text message and smiled?
– Few hours ago.

33. Have you ever made anyone laugh when they were crying?
– Yep

34. Are you happy?
– I should be. Not completely…

37. If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
– I guess so. Girl scout! Aja!

38. First person who texted you today?
– yaj

Paano na Kaya

Posted in love, music, video on September 15, 2008 by anairam

*my song of the moment*

Err… not again… anairam. tsktsk

Psyched

Posted in Uncategorized on September 8, 2008 by anairam

I was on the phone just moments ago with my everdearest psych-student friend and was telling her what’s been bothering me for the past month.

And I quote:

Ano? Di man lang ti-nry hawakan ang kamay mo? Therefore: bading sya!

***

… So ikaw, ano ba talaga nararamdaman mo ngayon? Anong gusto mong mangyari?

Me: Kung ngayon mo ko tatanungin, wala. Pero gusto ko lang talagang aminin nyang may naramdaman sya, kahit konti lang. Aminin na nya, ‘Wag nyang sabihin wala. Wala ba talaga?

… Therefore, gusto mo nga sya.

***

Pano kung narealize mong naghihintayan lang pala kayo.

Me: *bubbles* pakshet naman.

Long Overdue Update

Posted in Uncategorized on September 8, 2008 by anairam

Hired (finally!) for 5 months and counting… Experience-wise: nice. Social level: transition from introvert to extrovert. Colleagues: Closer everyday. Over-all: Fairly good, could be better.

Love: “paramdams”. But in social context, still zero…

Haihaihai