Archive for June, 2007

This is it!

Posted in Uncategorized on June 26, 2007 by anairam

Tomorrow will be one big day for me. Tomorrow, we will go to PRC and apply for the PT board exams.  Yes, tomorrow means no more turning back, no more thinking twice in taking the July 2007 board exams.

Days before tomorrow, I was still on the verge of reconsidering and taking it on February next year instead, but today, I finally decided to push through July. I have always had this certain braveness inside me (though not really noticeable) or maybe I’m just a risk-taker. At this point, I can’t say that I am really ready, all I have is my confident self, which I don’t know if it works positively or negatively for me. But looking at the bright side, I have always had this attitude of being calm and composed on tough times, I mean before, during and after exams. I’m not the panicky-type (although deep inside, I’m like the duck swimming in the pond, graceful above but the feet underwater paddles double-time). I know I’ll pass. I just have to put it in my mind that I will. I need motivation. Lots. And it needs to start with myself. I don’t think it is wrong to aim high, as long as you keep your feet on the ground. And I’ll start by internalizing that I will be in the Top 10. Why not? This is my blog anyway. Hehe. Kidding aside, they say that it is better to aim high andso that even if you don’t reach your highest goal, at least your not in that big risk for failing, but aiming for only the passing/borderline, what if you got a bit lower than that? There’s the chance of not making it. But I will, I know I will. I know we will.

What the *^!?^!

Posted in Uncategorized on June 24, 2007 by anairam

What’s with all the drama? What’s with the attitude? And why are you being so #@%&. I enrolled in your kingdom so I can learn new things, get some tips and techniques, and not to apply to be your subordinate. I’m sure my classmates are all feeling the same way, but are trying to be as respectful as they can. And yeah, you don’t own the kingdom, you are just renting space, so don’t act as if you own the whole building and the whole PT world for that matter. The customer is always right. We are paying here, just to remind you. So you better act accordingly and don’t walk-out on your obligations and the things you owe to your customers. I didn’t pay 11 thou just to be walked-out on, and then contribute another peso just to buy you flowers, cake and etc, etc. Spoiled BRAT!! When I first heard about your attitude, I was pissed-off, and never want to attend any of your sessions. But with the amount of money I paid, I figured, I needed to get something out of you. And you lectured some handy tips and more other things about your narcissistic self. And we tolerated it. And pretended to be happy even when sometimes smiling becomes automatic and our TMJ hurts and the end of the day laughing because we need to, and are obligated to. But after experiencing the thing you are famous for (walking-out), just makes me more and more pissed-off. And hearing that you will not lecture some topics for us, you just make sure you find replacements or you better give our moneys back for those lecture’s worth. I just can’t wait that somebody or everybody in the batch would top the exam (why not?), or have a 100% passing rate, without you lecturing us. There so much “you need me” feeling around you and I hate you feeling so much of a VIP, prima donna and all that jazz.  When I learned about your issues, being the self-proclaimed “most controversial” in the field, didn’t you ever wonder things might come back for you? I just hope that being involved with you at present won’t affect my future. I know I’m being judgemental and all, but I just can’t help it.  I know more successful people who are not as boastful and as bitch as you are. And I was just wondering, do you really like it when people just like you because they feel they need to, because they are scared of what could become of them if they don’t?

And i just realized, walking-out isn’t really nice, most especially if you are leaving a responsibility, an obligation behind, and something is at stake. (But just to justify myself when I do walk-out, at least I am not walking away from anything important, just to keep myself composed, and a breath of fresh air). And not when you are paid for your presence and when you’re around a great deal of people, some of which might be older than you and might have a more brighter future than you. (I know I won’t walk-out when I need to deal with people in the field, with my patients and future colleagues).
I just hope someday you could find someone who could tell you straight in the face that you badly need an attitude make-over.

Harrassed

Posted in Uncategorized on June 20, 2007 by anairam

T’was quarter to 9. I went inside the Dagupan bus to find a good seat. After 5 minutes of pondering around, a vendor of “yema, puto” etc. stepped on the bus to sell his goodies. Then he stopped by the aisle were I was seated and was asking me to buy. Having got no money and already had some “baon” for the 6 hours ride to Manila, I didn’t buy anything. Realizing I was sitting alone, he ask if I am with my boyfriend. And I said “no”. Big mistake. I should have said “yes” so that he would leave me alone. I really, really thought he was gay. I mean really. He talked like one. And he surely do look like Jobert Sucaldito– the entertainment reporter on the Buzz (who is gay). Long haired, tall and was definitely not good looking. Then he went on with the asking. Asking if my “boobs” were real (well I am really gifted naturally), where am I going, what is my age and when am I coming back to Baguio. And I gave wrong answers. I wasn’t looking in his direction and my replies were super low in tone, such that he could realize I am not really interested. But with the out of the world questions, he was still asking me to buy his goodies. Then he took my left hand, looked at my palm and told me that I am going to have a boyfriend soon, and that I will be going out of the country (yeah, the gay vendor suddenly became a fortune teller). But then it didn’t stop there. He took my hand again and was sniffing and stroking it at the same time (WOAH!). I was shocked and I took my hand away. He said he was going to give the “yema” to me for free. I was giving it back to him but he placed it near me and sat beside me. Then he did it again (the stroking and snifing thingy). I moved my hand away and he asked if I was scared. Then people started coming inside the bus, and probably noticing them. He let go of my hand and asked for a kiss on my cheek– and he will give me more free goodies. I shook my head and looked further away, then he left. Take note: I was never looking at him all the time that it happened and never did anything to entertain him more. I surely didn’t looked interested (maybe was such a fool replying to his questions, even in a non-interesting way). Lesson learned, never really talk to strangers, lalo na kung pangit. Haha. And I am never going to ride Dagupan bus again. So for those who bothered reading this, lalo na for girls who need to travel alone, lagi, INGAT!

3 days, 2 nights. A novel.

Posted in adventures, friendship on June 16, 2007 by anairam

June 11, 2007- Monday: Day 1

  • We left home at about 4:15 am. Travel time seems so short as 20 minutes after, we were already in NLEX and around past 6 am, we were already in Tarlac eating breakfast at Jolibee. The sun started rising while we were in NLEX, at about past 5 am, and the view was very nice (but still I love sunset better). We were passing Pampanga by that time and I just realized that people in the province might have been waking up so early because the sun rises early at their place. On my left side the sun was already 20 degrees up, while on my right, I think people were still sleeping because it is still dark. Hehe. (Haba ng realization)
  • I didn’t got to sleep the night before, so I slept till we were already in Pangasinan. By the time I woke up, we were already on our way towards the Our Lady of Manaoag Church, passing by the resort we once stayed at last summer of 2005. The church was crowded with people, maybe because mass was held every hour. We found a line directing to the back of the Our Lady of Manaoag statue herself. The whole family fell in line and managed to touch the back dress of Mama Mary. Then we went down to buy some candles to light and stack it on the candle rack. And the journey to Baguio goes on.
  • We arrived there at like 11 am. And uhoh, there were some problems regarding the rent. The house that was supposed to be stayed in by my sis and her friend wasn’t available (I don’t know for some reason) and we ended up moving to the next house (which is by the way, owned by the same person). However, this next house was locked because the it’s tenants who are already moving out isn’t there yet. So we moved my sis’ things on another available house and we stayed there for the night before moving in to the paid apartment.
  • It was really my plan to stay there for a day and go back to Manila the next day and decide whether or not to attend the review. Hehe. Our parents left Baguio at 12 noon (yes, they stayed for only an hour there and went back down). They actually told me to stay na rin so I cold help my sis move and arrange her things on the other house the next day. They dropped us off to SM Baguio.
  • My sis and I were not really hungry and decided to go to Mines View instead. We went walking through the Session Road towards the jeepney terminal. However, dark clouds started forming and “umaambon” na, so we went to Burnham Park na lang. It was like our bonding moment out of town pa. Sosyal. Then we decided to head home and take a nap.
  • The place we stayed in that day had no lights. Electricity bill problem I think. Buti na lang may natural aircon ang Baguio. At 6 pm, we left the house, walked to SM, ate dinner at Tokyo, hanged out at Starbucks (buti na lang I brought some reviewers with me), and called it a night.

June 12, 2007- Tuesday: Day 2

  • Breakfast. Woah. It was like 17 degrees when we woke up. We slept without any blanket on and I actually stood up at 3 am to get the comforter as I was really freezing. We ate at Chowking. And texted some friends that I might not able to make it back in Manila in time for the review.
  • It is June 12- Independence Day. On our way to Chowking we passed by a stage so I thought there might be some sort of program out there. And so after eating, the program I expected turned out to be more than that. The stage was set up for the men announcing the names of people as a parade was going on. Talk about good timing. And I was imagining then what it would be like there during February, when the flower festival is held. And to add to the good news, I received a text message that this day is going to be still a SRD. No review. Yippee. I wasn’t going to have to miss a review after all.
  • I asked my sis if we could drop by the Baguio Cathedral before heading home and so we did. Siyempre, I prayed for my boards and my dad’s bar exams. And then headed back to the apartment to find that it is still locked. And the adventure goes on.
  • I thought we could go to Mines View na, but realized that it might be crowded there so we went to the Mansion instead. We didn’t really went inside the place and walked to the Wright Park across the street. It was 11 am and the air was still so cold. And naka-jacket pa ko nyan. I did had flipped through the pages of my reviewer as it is so nice to review there. so peaceful. Sana talaga dun na lang ako nag-review. I was planning to review on SRG Baguio before but mama asked me to stay na lang in Manila with her.
  • Again, we went back to the apartment and finally it was open na. However, it was still messy and the landlady told us to give her time to clean the place first before we arrange my sis’ stuff there. And so we went out of the house again.
  • To SM Baguio again. Had lunch. And this time my feet were really aching and was starting to be in a down mood. My sis also has been frustrated since day 1 due to tenancy problems and so I caught her in a bad mood and we had kind of a dead air for some time there as we went back to the house again.
  • And the problem goes on… Her friend, who was supposed to be there by now, told my sis na she will be coming tomorrow pa. And my sister’s phone is low bat na, so I was kind of worried to leave her there alone, electricity’s down pa. So I decided to stay na for day 3. And so I’m going to miss a day in the review rin pala.
  • I stayed up until 12 midnight (even with only a candle for a light) to finish a reviewer. Well at least I had accomplished something.

June 13, 2007- Wednesday: Day 3

  • We finally get to take a bath today (yes after 2 days). It was my sis’ first day in school and I asked her to accompany me to the bus terminal first before going to school. She dropped me off at Dagupan bus terminal and said our goodbyes na. And just before the bus left the terminal, something unexpected happened to me. I was kinda harrassed. Grabe. I’ll elaborate on the next post.
  • My great Baguio experience terminated with me in the state of shock. Well at least I was able to recall good moments. The bus left at about 9 am and arrived Manila at 3 pm. Review classes started at 1. Buti na lang ethics lang. Haha. And yeah back at home, I just saw our weighing scale and went on it and surprise, approximately plus 5 pounds. Waah. Maybe I am really better off reviewing in Manila. Baka lumobo ako ng todo sa Baguio. Eating while reviewing pa naman ako. Haha.

And so finally, the adventure ends here… Overall, ’twas good, except for the last day shock…

K2BU

Posted in friendship on June 16, 2007 by anairam

K2BU. If ever you are not familiar with this word, this is actually the title of one teen show once showed in ABS-CBN last 3 years i think. I think it starred today’s soap actresses Bea Alonzo and Shaina Magdayao. I didn’t really watch this show then, I just happen to pass by it sometimes while changing channels to find a good show on T.V. on a Saturday P.M.

Anyways, I just shared it because recently, I am one of those people known when this term/title is mentioned. K2BU. It’s really not a serious matter, it’s just this one time, 3 of my blockmates and I happened to be excited for summer and started planning for a block summer get-away (which by the way, never really materialized due to uncooperative people). One of us suddenly joked of us 4 like being K2BU, all female cast. Then it reached our noisy, “makukulit” friends and the term became known of us 4. Haha.

Being in my present situation of “running away” and being comfortable with myself being alone or being around with any people, I started to actually observed the sense of the K2BU termed of us 4. In a non-serious fun way. This is actually composed of me, FE, JR, and JM. However, JM stopped coming to the review center so we rarely see her. JR was actually one of my closest friends and my confidant and FE was a blockmate and I never really got closed to her during our school days. However for the past few weeks, FE, JR and me share the same direction of walking when going home. I was also often seatmates with both of them. Although lately I hadn’t been confiding with JR regarding my issues, I am just happy of her being there. And it was so nice getting to know FE more. Before I thought of her being “suplada” and hard to get close to, but recently I find that we share some things in common. I am finding some of my mannerisms in her, and a sense of humor that I have to. And starting to appreciate her as a good friend.

Again, not that I’m taking this K2BU too seriously. I know this setup is not permanent and I am not boxing myself inside this circle people are referring us of. It’s just nice to be with them now as I am feeling comfortable hanging around with them. We laugh together like long time friends do and the feeling is just light, no pressure, and showing yourself and sharing your insights is not a hard thing to do. I just wanna say I am glad to have such friends to be with lately.

It must be the hair

Posted in Uncategorized on June 15, 2007 by anairam

Because it was so hot and humid nowadays, I had to tie my hair in a pony, and I usually divide my hair majority towards the right, but yesterday and today I parted it to the left. I wasn’t used to pulling my hair back as I just recently had my hair cut and wanted to emphasize the change. Haha. Unexpectedly, I got complements of my pulled back hair from — him. Yesterday I heard him mentioning it to our friends but acted like i never heard anything. And today, he approached me directly and said that my hair style looks good on me. And not only that, I heard him telling our friends again that I look good today. And again, i pretended not to hear anything. Talk about being observant and discreet. Well that doesn’t mean I’ll be pulling my hair back everyday. I probably will depends on the weather. Hehe.

But here’s the thing, the complement I got didn’t hit me the way I think it would. There wasn’t any bit of ‘kilig’ factor. It didn’t affect me that it came from him, of all people. It was like being happy to be noticed kahit wala akong effort. And lately, I am starting to be turned-off by him. I don’t know. Not that I hate him, nor I dislike him being my friend. Civil. Friends. Maybe I’m just starting to see him in a different way now and was starting to tell myself with the way I find him before, “What was I thinking? Liking him and all that before”. Hehe.

My pals that I hang around today just noticed something recently. It is with our other guy friend who seemed to be giving me special attention sometimes. Too bad he’s already taken. I don’t really give any malice of what he does and shows me. I’m just used to him being sweet to me, giving me a kiss on the cheeks before, and usually hugs me and kisses me on the forehead. And kanina, he held my hand tightly pa. But I don’t give a thing on it. This is merely reporting observations.. ^_^

Choose and explain

Posted in interests, love, me time on June 10, 2007 by anairam

1.The athletic or the intelligent?
— Pwede both? Di ko naman kailangan ng genius or super athlete. Someone like me lang. so-so. ^_^

2. The singer or the dancer?
— Ay shucks. Pwede both uli? Coz I’m quite good at both (walang pakelamanan, blog ko to!). I’d love it if that somebody could be able to sing with me in a duet, jam with me in videoke and dance with me till dawn (either slow or disco dance)..

[… I am being too idealistic again… ]

3. Sense of humor or the mysterious type?
— Sense of humor is a must. Period.

4. Pakipot or straight forward?
— Pakipot? Pa-pampam? Tired of people like that. Dapat straight forward kasi ako dapat ang pakipot. Pero I’m practicing how to be straight forward naman minsan.

5. The romantic or the silent type…
— The romantic. Silent ako, silent siya, patay na. Pero once I’ve warmed up na naman, I am too kulit and too sweet.

6. Science o Math
— Doesn’t matter really. Pero science siguro kasi love ko ang science pero di ko hate ang math so much.

7. Chinese type or typical..
— I am more lenient to Chinito, why not. But anybody would do. I am really not into physical appearance very much. But it is an advantage.

8. Moreno/morena o maputi…
— Doesn’t matter rin. I had tall dark and handsome crushes, as well as tall and fair ones.

9. Kung ma-sastranded ka sa isla, sino ang gusto mong makasama?
— If I would have answered this 2 months ago, I would have to say him. But now, it doesn’t matter as long as it is someone who is independent and can take care of me while were stranded (WoW, seryoso). Pwede ring si Brad Pitt, Ryan Philippe, John Lloyd Cruz or Sam Milby. Woohoo

10. Kung mahuhulog na sa bangin ang taong mahal ka at taong mahal mo… Sino ang ililigtas mo?
— Depende yan. Kung mahal rin ako ng taong mahal ko, definitely siya talaga. Pero kung hindi, yung taong mahal ko pa rin, pero since mabait talaga ako, both siyempre. Gagawan ko nang paraan yan, superwoman ako e. Pwede ko lang unahin yung taong mahal ko kung sakali, pero wala akong iiwan kahit sino. (Pinag-isipan ang sagot).

Naniniwala k ba sa:

a. Don’t fall in love with friends…
— Kung naniniwala ako jan, di sana ako ganito ngayon. Kahit sino pwede mong mahalin, friends man kayo o hindi.

b. Love at first sight…
— There are stories, pero di pa nangyayari sa kin so i don’t believe. hehe

c. Love is blind…
— Yeah it is. Minsan pag sobrang mahal mo, kahit anong meron siya, or kahit ano pa siya, maganda man o hindi, minsan hindi mo na masyadong pahahalagahan yung ibang bagay dahil sa pagmamahal mo sa kanya.

d. Collect and select…
— Di ako marunong magcollect kaya walang ma-select

e. Best friends are the best lovers…
— I wish. It has advantages and disadvantages

11. Ano nagpapahirap ng loob mo?
— Yeah, internal conflicts. Midlife crisis. wahaha

12. Ano mas gusto mo: tahimik kang nasasaktan o alam ng lahat?
— Sabi ko na hindi ako expressive. Whether sa opinions ko man or even sa aking emotions. Given the chance to choose, tahimik pa rin. Hindi ako papansing tao. Gusto ko ng napapansin nila ng hindi mo na kailangang ipamukha pa. Too bad my friends are not like that. Pero hindi ako nag-eeffort ipamukha. They are just too insensitive.

13. Ano ang mga bagay na sa tingin mo mababaw iyakan?
— Crush mo na hindi ka pinapansin. Pero ginagawa ko.

14. Kung iiiyak ka ulit, ano ang dahilan?
— Kasi gusto ko lang umiyak at maglabas ng stress.

15. Sabi nila, what you don’t know wont hurt you. tama?
— No. I don’t wanna be lied to. It’s either i’d cry because it would forever bug me of what they are not telling me or i’d cry because truth could really hurt. Either way i’d be hurt.

16. Sakaling bigyan ka ng pagkakataong magtanong sa Diyos, ano tatanong mo?
— Bakit po kaya wala pang dumarating sa buhay ko? Dahil po ba hindi pa talaga ako handa?

17. Ano ba silbi ng survey sayo?
— Echos lang

18. Sa lahat ng nagawa mo ngayong araw, ano pinagsisisihan mo?
— Hindi ako natulog para dito at hindi ako nakapagbasa ng kahit ano pag-uwi ng review dahil rin dito.

19. Marami ka pabang gustong gawin sa buhay? ano?
— Maraming-marami. Makapasa ng boards, local at state. Magkaron ng special someone. Makapunta sa ibang bansa para magpayaman, makapag-cruise around the world. Babalik sa Pilipinas para mag-asawa at magtayo ng business. Makatulong sa kapwa at maibahagi ang naipundar. Marami pa siguro.

20. Pag sinabi ba syo na malapit nang dumating ang taong para sayo,
maniniwala ka?
— Hindi ako maniniwala hanggang di siya dumarating.

21. 5 years from now, may pamilya ka na.. yung asawa mo kaya ung taong
inaasam mo?
— Wala na kong inaasam ngayon. At siguro 5 years from now, I’m at the peak of my career and would not consider settling down that early. 26 lang ako non. Feeling ko talaga, career woman ako.

22. Ano pa ba ang hinihintay mo?
— Matapos na ang survey na ito. Ala-una na. hala.

23. Masakit kalimutan ang isang bagay, lalo na ang isang tao. Pano ka maglibang ng sarili?
— Kumakain ng marami, nagpapakasaya, gumagala, umiinom, nagswiswimming, nag-eexercise para sumexy. Marami pang iba.

24. Magiging masaya ka kaya kung makuha mo nga yung taong mahal mo pero di ka
nya mahal?
— Hindi. At hindi talaga ako ang taong ipipilit ang sarili sa isang taong hindi ako mahal.

25. Anong feeling ng laging iniiwanan?
— Malungkot. Tuliro. Manhid. Tulad ngayon.

26. Ano naman ang feeling ng nang-iiwan?
— Minsan masaya. May pagka-selfish ako pag minsan, lalo na pag una kang iniwanan at ngayon nakabawi ka. Pero naguiguilty rin ako after.

27. Sakaling makita mo na siya, handa ka ba ulit sumugal at masaktan?
— Lagi ko naman siyang nakikita. Kung sa ibang pagkakataon ko sinagutan to, siguro oo. Pero ngayon, sa oras, minuto at segundong ito, hindi. Ayoko na talaga. Promise.

28. Malayo na ang narating mo, babalikan mo pa ba ang nakaraan?
— It’s nice to look back sometimes, but one must go on. ^_^

29. Ano pa ang halaga ng I love you ngayon?
— Kung sasabihin siya ng isang taong sobrang pinahahalagahan mo, mabubuhay na uli ako ng buong-buo. Yuck. Haha.

30. Isang salita lang ng totoong nararamdaman mo ngayon
— Numb